The Many Stages of Moving House


And how to hopefully make it suck a little less.

Let’s face it, moving is a massive fucking stress. Trying to put absolutely everything you own into boxes and transport it all to a new place, making sure nothing is lost or broken, is a mammoth task. For the first 18 years of my life I lived in the same house so I avoided this dreadful event, but in the past 6 years I have moved 5 times. Two of these have been between different countries so I now feel a true veteran of this experience. If you’re moving soon, to uni or otherwise, here’s a summary of the clusterfuck of emotions you can expect, plus a few tips to help along the way. It’ll all be okay, promise.

Stage One: I can do this

Ah, the sweet optimism of this stage. You look around and think that it’s not so bad, you have probably set aside a couple of days to do it, and have saved all of the ridiculously huge boxes from your last few Amazon purchases. Maybe you’ve moved house before and as a result you feel that you have conquered this mountain previously, and it wasn’t so bad (you’re wrong, it was the worst.) Whether a novice or not, your positive thinking will quickly dwindle. Fool.

Stage Two: Oh shit I have alot of stuff

As you begin to pack, the previous stage will rapidly fade as you complete one corner of the room and still have mountains of stuff yet to be packed. You find far more glow sticks than a reaosnable so-called adult should ever own, and ponder most of your consumerist decisions up to this point.

You’ll also struggle to part with many of those bizarre items. Well what if I want to make a disco bath for myself? I KNEW I BOUGHT THEM FOR A REASON!

Wanna create your own disco bath? Here.

Stage Three: Seriously, where did all this shit come from?

I found 4 different devices for grating cheese. God knows I love cheese, but come on past Rebecca.

Also a Nessie hat. Yep.

Stage Four: The Real Life Game of Tetris

aka How to fit the aforementioned vital and necessary belongings (I managed to narrow it down to 3 graters this time) into whatever form of transport you are using. For me this was my parents 7 seater car, which seemed absurdly large in Stage One, and now appeared to be the size of a Smart car by this stage. Those hours ‘wasting time’ playing online Tetris will now be invaluable as you try your best to maximise as much space as possible.

Stage Five: Sweet, Smug Success

You’ve done it, you’ve filled your vehicle and your former bedroom/home looks depressingly empty. You stand back and feel something akin to that sweet Stage One feeling once more.

Stage Six: The Unpacking

And so the stress returns. Get used to seeing those boxes- they’ll be in your room for the next couple of months whilst you put off unpacking more than the essentials for as long as possible.

Everything I own crammed into a tiny room

But when you do, you get to celebrate your brand new place to live and feel proud of yourself. You got through the moving process, well done. Have a house warming: and try not to destroy the place just yet.

To finish, here are some tips to hopefully help ease some of the pain if you’re going to be moving soon:

– Only dismantle flat pack furniture when you are positive you know how to put it back together again. You and I both know you didn’t keep the instructions for your Skborg desk from Ikea – pay close attention to how the thing comes apart.

– Save money on buying bubble wrap or any other packaging by using your sheets/blankets etc to wrap around precious things like frames or mugs.

– If you know you’ll be moving in a few weeks, save yourself some pain and start to look through your stuff and do a clear out. You don’t need so many black t-shirts, seriously.

– Label everything to ease the unpacking slightly.

– Pack a suitcase or two with essentials that you know you’ll need daily. Then you can live out of these during your first couple of days in the new place rather than having to root through every bag and box to find your card reader.

At the end of the day it can be stressful experience, but ultimately moving hopefully marks an exciting new chapter in your life. Even if you’re moving someone smaller or perhaps you think it’ll be worse than your old place for whatever reason, try to look at it as a new chapter in your life. And remember, moving almost certainly guarantees a trip to IKEA to buy more seemingly useful crap that you’ll probably never use.

Farewell noble fourth cheese grater, you served me well.

Good Luck!

Moving a little closer to my best gals = happy Rebecca

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